A Mile a Minute: The World of Mrs. Saditty

My *&#^@% Plants

To the person who told my husband that pouring WARM WATER AND EPSOM SALT in my house plants to make them grow AND to my husband, who was silly enough to believe that person, YOU BOTH SUCK!!!!

Exhibit A

Exhibit B

Negative Hookahs, Part I

When my BFF became a Buddhist, she taught me some really cool things to apply to my own life. Most of the things she has taught me involved something that I have had a hard time doing: taking the high road and steering clear of negativity (which really does affect your life). One of the most recent things is a kind of Tongue-Fu that is pretty fun and really works. When someone approaches you and says something negative about someone, counter with something positive about that person. When the next negative thing comes out, find something else positive to say. Continue on this path until the negative person walks the hell away. It's like magic! Pretty soon, the negative people ignore you like the plague!

Wednesday's Coffee Urn Convo:

Co-Worker: Hey MrsS.

MrsS: Hey Co-worker!

Co-Worker: Ummmummummph. Look at J. WHY, why, why would anyone get butt implants? She keeps doing stoopid stuff, that's why she can't keep a man.

MrsS: Not sure but she is such a pretty girl and never speaks harshly about anyone with me so I guess her azz issues never came to my mind.

Co-Worker: She looks so fake! Someone ought to tell her how cheap she looks!

MrsS: Not sure if she looks fake but she has never acted fake. She's wonderful! Remember when you got evicted? She started an anonymous collection and picked up enough money to put you and your son in a hotel for almost two weeks.

Do you know that hookah picked up her coffee and her biscuit and walked away without telling me bye? It's magic I tell ya!!!

Mother's Day/Weekend Recap

My wonderful weekend began with MrSaditty taking the day off on Saturday (something he NEVER does) to stay at home with the kids. He told me that I could do what I would do on Saturdays if I had no kids **insert chirping crickets here**. It seemed like years since I was free with no kids so it took a while for me to decide what I was going to do. I went to work for a few hours (yes, I said work). Then I went to get a mani and pedi...got my eyebrows done...washed my truck (still didn't get the bugs off)...and went right back home to hang out with him and the kids. A wasted day?

Later on that afternoon, he mentioned that I always go and get my grown and sexy on with the other Mommies but not with him. So we got dressed in our casual finest and went in search of grown and sexy.

Notice the "we're going out without the kids" grin on our faces. That and the glare from my Crackberry (where is my camera???) and...well, you get the picture (no pun intended). We wound up at my favorite spot, Vincent's City Club in BR (heeeeey S23!) where it was good eats, great drinks, and even greater music. My favorite part of the evening? There is a wall with a huge projection tv and they showed classic Marvin Gaye concert videos until the DJ showed up. 'Twas wonderful!

Sunday morning brought hangovers happiness and hugs from the kids. Sorry no pics but they ran around all day in Pampers and underwear and I am not going to give anyone proof of our bad parenting relaxed home atmosphere. My Mom and Dad woke me up AT 5:30 am (country people rise early) with a Happy Mother's Day call and it took forever for me to fall back asleep. Anywhoo, the kids and MrSaditty surprised me with breakfast in bed:

Ummm...let's see...it was..yeah! It was yummy (or would've been in some part of the world)...the bacon was charred crispy and the pancakes were interesting. Since it was made out of love, it was the best thing I ever tasted. When MrSaditty reads this post, he will learn that pancakes are NOT to be made in a black, cast iron skillet. But it was great! And umm, he made me a mimosa (knowing that I already had a hangover) and I was obliged to drink that down (TIH, I poured some out for ya!).

Next came the gifts. ***insert long sigh here*** My first gift was on point. Everyone knows how I love me some bags. I have trained my husband to go to Dillards and have the little ladies pull my customer cards for gift time. My first gift was this:

Now I already have a similar size but smaller but I shall happily Ebay the old one and sport this baby. I was all smiles while trying on my new hobo and could not wait to open the last gifts. I mean if it starts out this great then it could only get better, right?

WRONG

Presenting my second, third, and fourth gifts...Ummmm...you guess it (because I nevah would've)...A Harley Davidson mechanic shirt, a slutty Harley Davidson black t-shirt, and a Harley girl visor. Now, Harley is cool and stuff but WHY oh WHY would my man buy me biker gear? Especially biker gear to match his bike which everyone knows I cannot stand. I did not want to seem ungrateful so I ooohhhed and ahhhed and tried them on but was still slightly confused. When I asked about his reasoning, MrSaditty told me that I always begged him to pick things that he would like to see me in. He explained that he was giving me my wish. Be careful what you ask for because one day, your husband might give it to you...

The day progressed with dinner that my husband borrowed from my favorite chef, John Folse's cookbook. The jambalaya was slightly crunchy and the angelfood cake did not fluff (I think it was the eggs that the recipe didn't call for but he added). We wound up in a restaurant but he managed to make me smile, laugh, and swoon.

My husband who really tries and my kids who will not let me forget that I owe them all of my attention for the next 20 or so years made Mother' Day really special. They frustrate me sometimes but most times, they show me how sweet life can really be! The Lord has blessed me with a better husband and kids than I could've ever imagined and I thank him EVERY day for my quirky little family.

Make Me Wanna Holler

Today, I came home and cried. I did not cry in my truck or let the usual tears fall while waiting for the traffic light to change. Instead, I held the hurt in all day, picked up my kids, made them dinner, settled them in, and then came to my room to bawl my heart out. Why you ask?
As you may know by now, I am VERY active in the labor union which protects the jobs at my workplace. I have recently grown awfully close to another Union officer. She is smart, funny, Caucasian, and openly gay. She loves EVERYONE includoing her girlfriend of 4 years. She sees no color and bad mouths NO ONE. I digress.
So today, we go to Target to get mobilization supplies. So we are going up and down the aisles, laughing and talking. I didn't notice all the side eyes at first. Then, it became clear: they think we're a couple! At first, I wanted to speed up my pace and move away from her. But then, the voice of reason took over. What did it say? "Now come on! This person has been a friend to you. Has never met your kids but knows each and every birthday, calls you when you don't show up to work, treats everyone as though they were a close relative. If anyone even distanly related to anyone she knows passes, she makes it to the service and attempts to comfort the bereaved. She practically gives everyone the shirt off her back and you're worried about what people think?"
I had to listen to the voice and it made perfect sense. As I was pushing the basket and agreeing with the voice, an elderly couple told me that I could still find a man who wants me. WTF? A brother in scrubs followed us around for a while, shaking his head and muttering something about a waste.
Well, my friend never reacted. After a million dirty looks and comments (all of which she told me to ignore), we checked out.
In the car, I apologized for everything everyone in the store did and said. She begged me not to apologize. Said that she was used to being treated like the outcast. Says her cousins who are hooked to meth get more respect than she does (with a M.A degree and no criminal record). Told me that it doesn't matter who treats her bad because God always treats her good. Told me that for every person who treated her cruel, God sends three more who love her just the way she is. Told me that he gave her the armour to shield away hate.
She said this with gusto but as she was driving, I could see the tears...I really could.
With all we went thru as Black people, how could we treat others as we have been treated? How can we hate someone based on their religious beliefs or sexual orientation? Especially a perason like this, who sees the good in people. I was so disgusted, I could've screamed. Not because of her hurt but because so many people will miss out on knowing a wonderful person JUST BECAUSE she likes girls?!?!?!?!?!?
We gots to do better!

Oh the Randomness

Okay, this is a pretty long post. See, I have the bad habit of letting things build up in my mind (and on my memory card) and then posting all at once. Bad blogger habit!

Let's see...weekend first. The Saditty's had a houseguest and when Sunday came, we hated to see her go! It was a weekend of food, drink, fun, and plenty headache from the kids! Yep, TIH is an official member of out family now. Check us out, getting our grown and sexy on at Vincent's City Club on Saturday night (KH, eat your heart out!) :

So Monday came really, really quickly as did the birthday of the Littlest Saditty (I know, my posts are backwards!)

Here she is on her way to daycare, pre-hair-do...notice the wet and fruity juice thrown on her dress during the struggle to pry the sippy cuppy from her hands...

Now here is the birthday girl at daycare, post hair-do with her brothers:

And one last one of her, looking completely bored:

After school, Paw-Paw called us over...we thought it was to get birthdya money. Actually, it was to show the kids his new toy. The kids got a kick out of it (Sue me, my parents are KUNTRIE!)

So after working 8 hours, giving a party at daycare (after picking up Biggie Saditty from school), driving out to my parents and back home, and telling MrSaditty that I have to get ready for an awards ceremony tommorow at work, he drops a bomb. He has invited a few people to watch "the game". At our house? On a Monday night? No I cannot whip anything up. What?  Ummmhmmm. I know a bribe when I see one and I am not above accepting one! I was able to go to www.allrecipes.com and find a few greasy man dishes that my indigestion having hubby shouldn't have. It was too late to argue and I was too tired to care. Of course, everything was devoured in a matter of minutes. I did manage to snap a pic before the wolves closed in:

Well, that's about it for me. I shall make an effort to be consistant with my posting for all 5 or 6 of my faithful readers...lol...see ya!

Happy Birthday!

 Two years ago today, my baby came into the world. Daddy looked at you and has not looked away since. You are exhaulted by your four brothers and loved dearly by Mommy. God has been so, so good to me and you have been one of his greatest gifts yet. Beautiful, sassy, and smart. Daughter, sister, tomboy, girlie girl. Your name means beautiful, bright, shiny art in Arabic and you have become that and more to us. Happy Birthday!

Yeah...he said it

Today, I was forced to take the itty bitty Saditty's into the grocery store with me. I was tired and had taken off all my makeup and changed into sweats. Well, I was happy that they decided to behave (they must've sensed my mood). As we walked out the store, we passed a Coca-Cola machine. The biggest Saditty (a grown 6 year old) said, "Mommy, that Coke is black. Black like under Mommy's eyes!"

...nothing like kids to boost your self esteem...

Gripes

Tonight, my blog will serve as my sounding board..Typepad will be my gripepad...lol. I am not really one to complain but I do love to vent and move on...

Stroke of the day #1: A family member called to borrow money. Keep in mind, we have 5 kids in this house (2 of whom are in daycare and 1 who is in private school). This person has no kids...anyway, when I told the person we really couldn't help them. This person proceeds to tell me "It's a shame for you to lie! I KNOW ya'll got it!!" That was the last thing I heard before I slammed the phone in her face. How are you going to count my money for me? This makes me think that you blew your money depending on mine.

Stroke #2: The pregnant man on yet another serious talk show. As others have heard me say before, Louisiana is executing a Black woman on July 15th. The families of her victims have been suffering all this time...I would love to see them on a talk show and hear about how they are recovering or how they feel about the execution, etc. If a pregnant person with a sex change deserves 15 minutes, doesn't an execution?

Stroke #3: A co-worker and I saw a man strike a pregnant woman several times after she got out of the car he was driving. We both walked past the security guard (who was sitting, talking on a cellphone) and met her at the door to ask her if she wanted us to call the police...she gave us the dirtiest looks known to man.

OK...my vent session has come to an end. How ya'll doin??

Yuk-O-Rama #928,183,495

When we first purchased 2146, we noticed that our neighbors on the right had a large fence surrounding their propery. We also noticed that there is an above ground pool. With me so far? Ok, great. Well a few months later, MrSaditty told me that he heard a horse. I thought that he had guzzled one too many Red Stripes. A few days later, I heard it! Well, one day after going for a walk, we decided to peek thru the fence. A horse was standing at the pool, drinking water from the pool! Ask MrSaditty if you think I am lying! Well, that was the least of our confusion. That same weekend, they had a POOL PARTY (yeah, peeps were swimming and partying in the same pool that the horsie was sipping from!). MrSaditty wanted to stand in the bed of his truck to get some of the guests attention to warn them but I talked them out of it.

Summer is coming again and I normally avoid pools because of the pee factor....now people got horses drinking from them??? Beach, here I come.

When He Rides Away With the Other Woman

Two or three mornings out of the week, I watch my husband ride away on the other woman. Tears NEVER fail to escape my eyes. See, he has history with her. In fact, we both do.

When we purchased 2146 and moved 50+ miles away from his job, we felt the tilt in our pockets. My husband was roaring up and down the interstate in his V8 truck and petro was running about $400 a month. He then got smart and started taking the car, which had been parked for a while and the beautiful 13 gallon tank really started saving money. Then, fuel started rising again and my husband had a bright idea--a motorcycle.

I staunchly said "No!". Motorcycles and I also had a long history. When I was eight, my godfather (Parrain around these parts) was killed while crossing a railroad track on his motorcycle. I had a boyfriend in college who rode one and I sometimes rode with him and although it was quite fun but I always felt a tad bit uneasy. Then, my baby brother who is five years to the day younger than me had a series of awful falls, spills, and scrapes on his Kawasaki Ninja. This was mainly because of the stunts and showing off he did but after seeing him with his jaw swollen out to China, I had a somber talk with him and the tricks stopped. Now, he mainly rides on the weekends. Now, here was my husband telling me he wanted to buy a motorcycle.::::sigh:::::

At first, he was dead set on a crotchrocket sports bike. My NO turned into Heeeeeeeellll No. I pointed out many times that this was dangerous and he would not be getting anybodys bike. This became the source of an ongoing argument between he and I. Anyone who knows us knows that the only thing we ever fought about is his family, and we had since dismissed that argument. No more arguments... not about money, not about sex, nothing else. Well things got pretty hot and hectic over this motorcycle issue. When things came to a head and blew up, he sat me down.

He looked at me straight in the eye and asked me a series of questions. Do I come home every night? Yes, that's what you're supposed to do. Do I take you everywhere? Sure you do. Do I bend over backwards for you and the kids? All the time. Have I been supportive of everything that you've ever thought about, dreamed about, and attempted? Yep, you are always behind me 110%. Do I make spontaneous decisions without thinking about how it will effect you or the kids or our marriage? No, never. Have I exceeded your expectations as a husband? ::::sigh::::: Yes you have and continue to do that.

After answering all his questions, he told me that the motorcycle was something he wanted. I asked what would happen to us financially in the case of an accident. He reminded me of his large sick leave balance and went out and purchased an AFLAC policy. I reminded him how dangerous motorcycles are. He reminded me that in the Navy, he had been on both a Nuclear submarine and an aircraft carrier. He stated that both of them could've blown up or been blown up and any time. He also reminded me of the day that his very large and safe truck fishtailed on I-10 and he skidded off the interstate into a group of trees. He told me that accidents could happen anytime, at anywhere.

I went with him to the VA for a checkup one day and the Doctor (who I have grown quite fond of) overheard us discussing the subject yet again. He pulled me outside of the exam room and we had a brief chat.

"Mrs. Saditty, I sit here all day everyday and see disabled vets who turn to alcohol, drugs, and sometimes both. They feel as though their disabilities have ruined their lives and have nothing to live for. Mr. Saditty is, by VA standards disabled. He still works a full time job and is working towards a degree. If a damned motorcycle will help him stay sane, let him do it!" He then went back to business as usual.

After doing my research on this here innanet, I was willing to compromise. If he would get a cruiser (which research says is safer),  I would be okay with it. So for his first bike, he opted for a Harley Davidson. He is now on his second model and I still get nervous every time I hear it start up.

It is NOT easy being really deep in love with someone. You watch their every move. You wake up in the middle of the night to make sure they are still breathing. After seeing that his chest is still rising and falling, you are finally able to go back to sleep. You wait for that text message that he sends, letting you know that he made it safely. In the afternoon, you hold your breath until you hear his engine in the driveway. These days, since it is getting warmer, he is riding her more often. I swear I cannot breath until I hear Stevie Wonder's "I Just Called to Say I Love You" or "You are the Sunshine of My Life" piping through the speakers on my Blackberry. He made it. Safely.

It's been a while now. No accidents (knock on wood!). He has even found a club of men in their 30's, 40's, and 50's to ride with. Most of them are husbands and dads and they really look out for each other. It's weird to see my husband (who only has one friend, his bff) roaring away with a bunch of Daddies...lol....the other wives all say the same thing. Sometimes, we ride together and it feels soooooo good when I am holding him around his waist and he reaches down to rub my hand at a traffic light or stop sign.

In these days of high fuel, we save about $200 per month just by him taking the Harley. Everyday when he hits the interstate, my heartbeat gets put on hold. Will I ever get used to it? I doubt it. When we kiss in the morning, I NEVER let him say goodbye. Instead, I make him say "See you later!" I try to study every detail of his face every morning. Should something happen, I want to remember him just as he is. He laughs and tells me that I am being so, so paranoid. I tell him that I'm not being paranoid, I'm just being a wife. God sent him to me and I thank HIM every day for allowing me to keep him.