Thirty-Five Things That I Have Learned in 35 Years

Turning 35 right before the new year caused me to take inventory. Looking back over my life, there is so much that I have thrown back but some of the catch was really worthy of keeping in the boat with me. Here are 35 things that 35 years of living have taught me:

1. Learning how to say "No" is THE most important life lesson that a person can learn.
2. If you leave the house looking torn up (even if it is to go to the grocery store or gas station), you WILL  run into that ex-boyfriend, the girl whose boyfriend you stole in high school, Morris Chestnut, the president, or ALL of the people mentioned.
3. God does not punish but HE does one helluva job of convicting!
4. You can either eat the cookie that you are craving or deprive yourself, get angry, and eat the entire pack later while feeling disgusted.
5. NEVER (never ever ever never) apologize for who you are, how you look, what you like, or how you feel.
6. There is such thing as magic except the proper name is "answered prayers".
7. If you are crazy enough to laugh when your kids say a dirty word, you'll look even crazier when they yell that same word (and a few others out) in public.
8. Basing your joy upon someone else's misfortune is a surefire way to failure.
9. Whetever you send out into the universe, be it good or bad, will eventually come back at you ten to twenty-fold.
10. Chasing that food down with a Diet Coke will not kill all of the calories.
11. No matter how bad the timing may seem, children are always a blessing.
12. Personal attacks are just what they are--personal attacks. Steer clear of them and those who spearhead them.
13. If you call in to work and pretend to be sick, you will really be sick when it is time to return to work.
14. Your husband/boyfriend/s.o. knows all about those bags in your trunk that you plan on sneaking into the house later on. He/she just does not want to embarrass you.
15. Forgive your enemies but avoid their asses as if they have the plague. 
16. In this day of advanced modern medicine, Black folks still attach a stigma to mental illness and refused to get treated for it.
17. That little voice that you hear is not actually "the voice of reason" or your conscience. It's actually God trying to point you in the right direction.
18. Holding on to old hurt will block out new happiness.
19. You really don't need that many drinks before you get on the plane.
20. In-laws are your husband's relatives. You married him, not them. If they can't, won't, refused to accept you then fugg em!
21. Get out of denial. It will not 'stretch out'..buy the bigger size!
22. The best thing you can do for a grudge is let it go.
23. By the time you turn 30, you will be able to count your real friends on less than ten fingers.
24. Neglecting to get rid of garbage will stink up your life. Neglecting to get rid of baggage will weigh you down.
25. You can pick your friends but not your family. Sometimes it is better to love them from a distance.
26. If it is too much to give, then refuse to lend.
27. The red gas light that pops on in your truck does notmean that you have 3 more gallons, it means that "your azz is bout to have to get out and walk".
28. No matter how much you try to avoid it, you begin to sound and act more and more like your mother every day.
29. Living well really is the best revenge!
30. A cold glass of wine and a good cry can do wonders at the end of a rough day.
31. Haters are simply those who do not have the courage to say what you say, live as you live, or admit to feeling the way that you do.
32. Kindness kills quicker than any gun.
33. There is no better feeling in the world than hearing one of your kids call you "Mommy". 
34. If you loved him enough to marry him, then surely you have the guts to tell him what you need more of, what you can't stand about him, and why you would hate to live without him.
35. Thirty-five is not the new twenty-five, no matter how much I try to convince myself.