A Mile a Minute: The World of Mrs. Saditty: February 2009

I know that I am nearly a week late but here we go! Valentines is my favorite holiday so of course me and the kiddies go all out. This year, Mr. S FINALLY decided to join in the fun...this is pic heavy and may take a bit to load but enjoy!

They looooved the idea of ditching uniforms for the day. Because V-tines fell on a Saturday, the school celebrated on Friday.

Middle Saditty's class did a presentation that was priceless! (PEEP that "come hug me" look in his eyes)

Mr S brought home two new additions to the family. This is Itty Bitty's baby Saudia Saditty. Now keep in mind that is what we were going to name our next (and final) child so I guess this is his way of telling me that we are done????

Okay. I am sooo addicted to watching A&E's "The First 48" that Mr. S named my baby bear Caroline Mason Saditty...lol

This year, he remembered to peel off the Albertson's sticker! LOL

We ate here. If you have not been and have one within a seventy-five mile radius, make a bee-line! Here is a shot of us after a few pineapple mojitos.

Well I hope that your Valentines was as happy as ours. Much love! Mrs S

As a parent, I wear so many hats however I have learned that my most important job has been as my child's advocate. What do I mean, you say? Here goes:

I became a parent relatively late by today's standards (28) and had little to no hands on experience with younger children. My parents helped me out a whole bunch with my first child but it was still difficult. I didn't know what to look for, what to expect, how to act. During the first year and a half, we did everything for him. He would point to a cup, we would fill it. He would cry, we would do everything under the sun until we found out what he was crying for. Someone would ask him a question, he would answer.

My first experience with panic was when Biggest Saditty turned 1 and still was not walking. At his first birthday party, he sat down and took everything in. I was both ashamed and hurt because he was not walking while the other one year olds were practically running around. At that time, I did not know that children develop differently and do things at different times. I took him to a pediatric neurologist who did some testing and said that he would walk when he was ready. Sure enough, I picked him up from daycare one day when he was 13 months and he walked over to me. That's right---I dropped him off and he was crawling and picked him up and he walked over to meet me.

Fast-forward to two years old. The daycare provider (who I hate to this day and hate is a STRONG word) pulled me aside and told me that at his age, he should have a really strong vocabulary. I thought about it and began to cry. As I sobbed, she pointed out that her two year old granddaughter who attended the same daycare could talk, repeat what others said, and even make wisecracks. She went on to tell me that she was an expert on children and she knew that he was not normal. I cried and cried and cried as she suggested that I call Social Security and file for disability benefits for my two year old. I was fighting mad, collected him, and left. On the way home, I cried and thought about what she said. "I am an expert when it comes to children and I can see now that he is not normal." She then pointed to a child who was visibly autistic and told me that my child had the same traits as that child. Even though there was a HUGE difference between the two, my ass stood there listening and eventually started noticing similarities that really were not there at all. I left the center crying like a fool. Glancing at him strapped in his seat in my backseat, I can still remember the look of concern on his face when he saw his Mommy sobbing and that caused me to sob even more. I still cry when I think about her words (but more out of anger). So, I took my child back to the TRUE expert, the pediatric neurologist who did some testing and told me the same thing that he told me a year earlier when the problem was walking. "He'll talk when he is good and ready." So I then took him to the pediatrician and expressed my concern. She gave me a referral to a different pediatric neurologist and a warning that all children develop differently.

So off I was to the new doctor, paid the co-pay, and subjected my baby to the testing. "I think he may be slightly autistic but it will take another year or so to know for sure." Autistic? Surely this was the end of the world? I went to BAM and purchased every book on the subject. I cried and read, read and cried. One day a few weeks later, while I was reading and crying and feeling hopeless, Biggest Saditty walked up to me and said, "Whatchu reading Mommy?" What.chu.reading.Mommy. It took me a long time to process those words and realize that it came from him. MY BABY. Although his progress was slow, he began to talk. One of the main things I realized after a while was when I asked him a question, he repeated the same question back to me over and over again. This terrified me because it was one of the main characteristics of autism that I had read about. The same bitch I mean daycare provider (yes, I was dumb enough to leave him there after her "professional diagnosis) pointed out that he was displaying signs of autism.

If anyone reading out there has a child with ANY type of learning or developmental disability then you KNOW how hard it is to get a diagnosis. We went from Doctor to Doctor and still no clear diagnosis. It was the most frustrating experience of my life. By this time, I'd given birth to middle Saditty and gotten married and was pregnant again with Itty-Bitty Saditty (I KNOW, I was busy!) Because I now had a husband in the home to help out with the baby (Middle Saditty) I was able to concentrate on Biggest. I decided to switch his school (I could only stay dumb for so long) and placed him into a pre-k program at a private school that used the ABeka curriculum. The teacher was drawn to biggest Saditty and the teachers aid had nerve to tell me that she thought that maybe he was a genius. A GENIUS? Who was this trick??? Well while I cried and felt defeated because he was not acting "normal", the teacher and teacher's aid were noticing his abilities as opposed to his disabilities. Then, one day his teacher said that the class was being observed by someone from the state. As the teacher was reading a book my child because upset, started a tantrum and threw his shoes across the room. She told me that I needed to have him evaluated because she thought he could be ADD or ADHD. I was so confused. One minute, the teacher and the teacher's aid were showing me drawings and math problems that my son had worked out in his pre-K class and the next minute I am being told that he is ADD or ADHD? More tears, more frustration. I went to his pediatrician thinking that medication could be the answer.

I can still hear her yelling at me to this day. Yes, I still go to the same pediatrician who YELLED at me. Do you know what she said? "Iwill not be prescribing him ANY medication. All it will do is kill his creativity.There is no such thing as an ADD child but there are TONS of ADD and ADHD parents and teachers. You need to stop crying, pray, and find out what your child needs to succeed. Go to a psych doctor and get a diagnosis IF there is one. Plan out your roadmap. Dedicate extra time to him and it will pay off. Once you know, do everything you need to do to make sure he has a strong foundation. Now, I'll see you in three months for his wellness checkup and don't come back unless this child is sick." Yes, that is EXACTLY what she told me. I was livid! You have to understand Dr Syed. She is Lebanese, about 5 feet with heels on and to the point. Middle Saditty and Itty Bitty Saditty (a newborn at this time) were also her patients and as a matter of fact, she named them. I trusted her but I knew she had to be wrong. Surely the teachers were right. Before we left, she made the nurse give him a comprehensive hearing test which he passed. I was on my own. All the way home, I thought about what she said. Find out what your child needs and do everything. That became my mantra. I turned off the television and the computer, turned off my phone, and zoned in on my child. I stopped crying and did my research. I finally found a Doctor (psychologist) who would work on a diagnosis. I trusted his opinion because he handled all the diagnosis for the public school system in the area.

Biggest Saditty and I drove over to his office on the designated day. We walked into a room filled with toys. I sat there looking stupid while the Doctor watched Biggest play. He scribbled some notes and asked him a few questions. When I tried to speak on his behalf the Dr. shusshed me. He continued to ask me questions and chat with him. He ended the appointment with me still in limbo but scheduled some testing for the next week. We showed up for the next appointment and my baby was whisked away to be tested. After about an hour, the nurse brought him back into the room and set up an appointment for me to return alone the next week. The days, hours, and minutes went by so slowly and the appointment time finally arrived after what seemed like forever.

The doctor advised me that Biggest Saditty showed some slight characteristics of Aspergers Syndrome (lack of interest in his peers, occassional clumsiness, and lack of social interaction ability) which is a high functioning form of autism. He explained that although Aspergers falls underneath the Autism umbrella, he was far from disabled, in fact he was probably near genius. HUH???? He went on to explain that he suspected some famous people of being Aspies (Bill Gates for one) and stated that there was a huge success factor among those with this type of disorder. My next question was: How can he be cured? He basically told me that there is no cure, per se however children often outgrow the symptoms of the syndrome however some of the symptoms always remained. Then, he blew my mind.

He said that the major problem was a language barrier. HUH?? Yes, a language barrier. He stated that my child could not pay attention or concentrate because he often did not understand WHAT was being said and WHAT was being asked of him. He immediately suggested speech and language therapy.

Three years later, Biggest Saditty is still in speech and language therapy. He has made HUGE leaps and bounds. He talks so much that sometimes, I want to take out his batteries. He loves animals and can name animals that inhabit each and every continent. He can tell you the countries on different continents as well as the cuisine and ethnic makeup of the people inhabiting the countries. He hates spelling but loves social studies. He has started to ask for Heelys and other things that his classmates are into. He is a true 7 year old. He is in first grade, reads at a second grade level and performs math and science at a third grade level. Pretty impressive, huh? He still struggles with social interactions and prefers to play alone so we have to force him to play with others. Sometimes it works, sometimes it does not. He is at the same school and in March, will be tested for a regional gifted and talented program. Did I ever think that we would be at this point? NEVER. And the problem? A damned language barrier.

What am I trying to say? What I'm trying to say is when I was young, we had people who were "slow". There was no ADD or ADHD or any of that stuff. Today, people try to place labels on everything and every one. On the flip side, we as parents are often ashamed because our kids are "different" (especially OUR people). We sit around in denial while our children fall by the wayside. We fail to sit up and get our children the help that they need. Had I listenedd to DUMB DENISE (the daycare provider, yeah, that's her name), I would've given up and allowed my child to be thrown into special ed at some school where no one had time to be bothered. He wouldve grown up into an adult who swept floors and emptied gargage cans. His abilities would have never been recognized. Instead of concentrating on his abilities, I was concentrating on his "disabilities". All children are different. DO NOT allow your children to fall by the wayside. If you suspect that something is wrong, get a diagnosis and work on fixing the problem. Do not let something tiny (language barriers, dyslexia) turn into something huge and handicap your child's life. Not only are you your child's parent, you are your child's advocate. ALL children develop differently and act in different ways. NEVER let ANYONE compare your child to another chiold because all children are different. Recognize your child for who she/he is, thank God for being blessed with that child, and do everything short of murder to get your child what he/she needs to succeed. Nuff said. Love ya'll! Mrs. S