A Mile a Minute: The World of Mrs. Saditty

The View from the Outside Window

A few posts back, I spoke of asking the Lord to order my steps and since then, I've been doing it on a daily basis. I'm currently going thru something that I prayed upon long and hard before acting on it. EVER the Capricorn, Your girl Mrs. S is far from flighty! Nonetheless, the action is not permanent an I have peace of mind about my actions. Now, there are those who love and care about me and think that I'm being quite foolish. I understand the concern but WE will be fine. My parents have been married for 42 years and they taught me well. I've learned from a great example. But I'd like to sum everything up with one strong thought:
you can spend years studying swimming. You can watch hundreds of swimming matches and read every book in the world about swimming. In fact, you can be an expert on swimming without EVER getting into the water. But one thing is for sure: until you're actually thrown into the water, you, a swimming expert, will NEVER
know if you will sink or swim.
Believe that y'all! Mrs. S

Natural Hair Update

I recently dawned on me that I had not discussed my hair on my blog! Well, it's been a little over three months since my big chop. This is my second go-round as a natural and this time, it's for keeps! Sure, I miss mine (and other people's) long, luxurious locks flowing from my head but this? It just feels...well natural?

Before chopping off the relaxed portion of my hair, I was under the impression that I had alopecia because my temple areas were literally BALD under my weaves, etc. and would not grow. Well, a few weeks ago, I noticed some fuzziness on the bald portions and now----there is hair! It's growing! As a matter of fact, the whole head has become really thick and is growing like a bush.

Now, I was a PJ (product junkie) and have a bathroom full of expensive crap that might've made my hair look good but they definitely didn't feel good nor do anything to promote growth. Thanks to fellow bloggers Adrienne (I am loving the coconut oil!) and Val (keep sending all the links to the natural hair sites!) and a ton of people on Youtube, I have learned that cheaper is sometimes better. Instead of shampooing, I co-wash with V05 Conditioner ($1.19 per bottle) mixed with Baking Soda ($.49 per box). Olive Oil, Coconut Oil, and Pure Shea butter from the African store have become my go-to conditioning and styling products. All in all, they have my hair growing like wildfire!!I am moving past TWA (teeny-weeny afro) stage and now have enough for an afro-puff....check me out....

Believe it or not, I am happy to be nappy! I do envy many of my permed sisters but I guess it just wasn't for me! I'll keep you guys updated on my hair's progress. See ya'll!

Click! (subtitled another aha! moment)

So because of a teacher's inservice today, Biggest Saditty had no school. I considered leaving him at the daycare portion of the school where Middle and Itty Bitty spend their days but decided to take a vacation day and spend some time with him. For nearly two years, it was just he and I against the world and I felt kind of nostalgic when I thought about those days. So anyway, we dropped the two babies off and headed to our first destination--Cracker Barrel. We were seated and our drinks soon arrived. As I dunked my tea bag into the hot water, I watched as Biggest peered at the peg game, trying to figure out the dynamics before he invited me to play. My phone began to ring. I looked at the caller ID and sent the caller to voicemail. She called right back. Again, I sent her to voicemail. As he and I began to play the peg game, a text message pinged from my phone. "Hey, call me back. It's urgent." I excused myself from the game and opened the small box of crayons and suggested that he color the picture as I returned the phone call. After he embarked on coloring, I dialed my friend back.

Me: Hey. I got your text message. What's up?

Her: Oh, are you at work?

Me: No, I am off today. Biggest and I are in Cracker Barrel on a date. Our food should be here soon.

Her: Forreal? That's nice. But lemme tell you about....................................

So, after a few minutes of her ranting on about her latest personal emergency, I started to wonder what part of the 'emergency' was so urgent. Now, keep in mind that she knows that I rarely ever get one on one time with any of my kids and if I am not mistaken, I had JUST told her that I was doing just that. She went on and on about one of her issues that we are constantly discussing. It goes like this---she presents me with a problem. I give her a solution. She sits on the phone and gives me rebuttals and tells me why my solutions are wrong. You guessed it---it's a waste of time to give this person any type of advice. But anyway...

I grab a crayon and start coloring with Biggest and she is still going on and on but stops occassionally to say, "Are you still there? Are you listening?" I grunted an affirmative response and she kept on. So our food came and I loudly asked the waitress for Tabasco and another tea bag. She kept talking. I asked Biggest if he needed help cutting his bacon, she kept talking. I started chewing and smacking loudly into the phone----and this heffa STILL kept talking.  I started a few times to tell her I'd call her back but she ignored my attempts to interrupt. I zoned back in and realized that she was still talking about her one of her "issues". The same issue that I have been giving her the same advice on for about four months. Then, something snapped in my head and I gently laid the phone down. I have nothing but rollover minutes PLUS, she is a mobile to mobile call. I was curious as to see how long she would talk before she noticed that I was not listening. I enjoyed a large portion of my country breakfast and held polite conversation wtih Biggest for several minutes before my phone lit up with my Icons screen, indicating that the call had disconnected. Cool. Maybe she got the picture. Hell no!!! No sooner had the screen died down, it lit up---this heffa was calling right back! Then, a logic thought came to me. Don't friggin answer! Duuuuuuuuh! So we finished up breakfast (I would love to know WHEN this child's appetite got so big!), talked about the weather, Thomas, Sir Toppemhat, and the new friends on his baseball team. We talked about his red bat and how he was going to hit the balls to Jupiter and knock a ring off Saturn. Needless to say, we enjoyed the tail end of our date. By the time I paid the check and bought a bunch of the irresistable junk that surrounds the checkout, old girl had called me four more times.

When we made it to my truck, I called her back.

Her: Oh girrrrrl. You are so rude.

Me: Rude? Child didn't I tell you that Biggest and I were in the middle of breakfast?

Her: Yeah but you should've told me to call you back.

Me: How could I do that when you never let me get a word in? You can't hear what I am saying if you are too busy listening to yourself talk.

Her:  ::::::::::::::::::click::::::::::::::::::::

I guess she waited for me to call her back? Holding your breath will make you turn blue. Anyway, the lesson here?

Anyone who knows me knows that I am long-winded and a talker by nature. I gab on the phone on my way to work, on my way from work, on the way to pick up the kids, after I pick up the kids (they ignore Mommy and talk only to eachother while we are driving), while I cook dinner, while my husband watches the Sci-fi channel...you get the picture. I always have time for others and am a great listener---but some people really abuse that. Take my 'friend' for instance. The only time she can talk is during the day...if her boyfriend is around, she is NOT answering the phone. You could be stuck on the side of the road---good luck to you because she will not divert her attention from him. But when he is not around, she will bombard you with talk. But I digress...that is not really the isse.

Real Talk....since finding out that I am going to be a Mommy once again, I've been thinking a lot about TIME. Yes, time. How fast it flies, how I never held my other babies enough while they were small, how even though we took hundreds of pictures of them as babies, we still didn't take enough. How they grow up in no time and become little Nazis who try to tell you off in an instant. Time. Family time, time for myself. Just time in general. Then I start to think about some people who have no regards for other people's time. I am sure you know one or two. They can only think of themselves. You know that friend/cousin/inlaw/insertthepersonsnamehere who calls you anytime they have something going on. You can tell them that you are in the middle of a lobotomy, being pulled over by the police, or that Jesus Christ is walking the Earth and he just stopped by your house to have a Coke and discuss your eternal fate and what will that person do? They will say, "Forreal? But anyway, lemme tell you about......"  Oh, you know that person too? When you do open your mouth to say in plain English, "I'm busy, let me call you back." They ususall reply with, "I'll let you go but first let me tell you about..........." which normally turns into a whole nother rant.

Now that we have established that these people do exist, I blame myself for allowing them to ignore my silent pleas to talk to them another time. For example, my friend Felicia and I talk over my kids screaming in the background and her son doing his thang in her background and we've learned to zone them out. Thats just how we are. But in other instances, I have enough respect to recognize when I've called a friend at an inopportune time and say, "Girl, just call me back when you get a chance." But I guess I am not like some people? Some people will take your kindness as a good listener and friend for granted. Their personal issues will take a frontseat to everything in your life. They don't care what you have going on, as long as they get a chance to talk about their favorite subjects: Self, self, and self. Which brings me to my aha! moment. Just.hang.up. Sound rude? As a person who keeps her phone glued to her, if I don't answer, I am really and truly busy. Send me the "Urgent" text message for something that can truly wait? Click! Now, I know its really rude to intentionaly disconnect a call but how rude is it to blatantly disregard someone's time? I thought you would agree. So, that was my aha! moment of the day. I'll leave you guys with a picture of Biggest (I swear I need to start calling these kids by their names!)on our date. Love ya'll, thanks for listening and don't be afraid to call me! LOL!! MrsS

 

Jamaica? No Problem!

Hey ya'll! It's been a few days but your girl has been distracted. I have the most WONDERFUL news in the world to share with ya'll but I'll wait another day or so.Needless to say, I am back in effect! I wanted to share a few pics of our trip with you guys...

A shot from the airport shuttle en route from Montego Bay to Ocho Rios.

 The view of Ocho Rios from our little porch.

 

 

  Jerk baby, jerk baby, jerk jerk jerk!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A picture of a natural waterfall at The Ruins. I kept hearing running water while in our room or on the porch and could not figure it out where it was coming from(it helped me to sleep like a BABY!). We became hungry and wandered off and discovered this right next door!

An alternate view of the Falls at the Ruins.

 

The famous and fabulous Dunn's River Falls. It took Mr. S and I nearly an hour to climb from beach level to the top of the falls. Not bad? Wrong! A group of eightysomething year old Austrian and German tourists beat us up there by about twenty minutes. I couldn't take my camera on the actual climb BUT I wish you guys could see them standing at the summit in their Speedos and micro-kinis...a-m-a-z-i-n-g!

 

Mr. S is going to HELL. Why, you ask? Well meet Carlton. Carlton works at Evitas, a restaurant in the Blue Mountains with an AMAZING view. It was booked solid every single night....until Mr. S got the bright idea ofcalling and saying that I was a food critic attempting to write a review. Instantly, we had a table on a balcony overlooking Jamaica. Carlton wasted no time telling us how he was an aspiring actor and planned to come to America and put Idris Elba out of work. He insisted on posing and slipped Mr. S a headshot, asking him to give it to his "producer friend"....WTF?????? The closest my husband has ever been to a producer was in a concession line at a Star Trek convention. Carlton honey, don't hold your breath. Since everyone thought I was a food critic, the service was OFF THE HOOK. The food? Imagine licking motor oil off your car's axle. Got it? Good. I guess that was our punishment!

 

A view of the Carribean from Reggae Beach.

Peep this cute little wagon. Vendors push them up and down the street, selling fresh steam roasted peanuts. Mr. S insisted on buying me a bag. I was hesitant but when I bit into the warm creamy goodness called a steam roasted peanut, I was in sheer heaven. Imagine how fast I came crashing down when I stood on the sidewalk chewing as the vendor fetched more water to make steam----OUT OF THE FRIGGING DITCH!!!!!

Mr. S and his 746,288th Rum Punch.

In all, we had a wonderful time with lots of laughs. and great memories were made. It was super affordable.  After talking to a few islanders, we learned how bad the recession/near Depression is hurting the tourism industry. As always, visits to the Carribean and other parts of the world are beautiful yet eye opening. In the United States, we are TRULY blessed. The people of Jamaica are becautiful, humble, and so happy. Makes you think....in the US, we have everything but are not happy with anything. The people of Jamaica and other nations have nothing but still manage to be happy. How can they be happy with nothing but we are miserable with everything? Counting blessings is definitely something that I need to work on!

Love ya'll! Mrs. S

Your Most Important Job as a Parent

As a parent, I wear so many hats however I have learned that my most important job has been as my child's advocate. What do I mean, you say? Here goes:

I became a parent relatively late by today's standards (28) and had little to no hands on experience with younger children. My parents helped me out a whole bunch with my first child but it was still difficult. I didn't know what to look for, what to expect, how to act. During the first year and a half, we did everything for him. He would point to a cup, we would fill it. He would cry, we would do everything under the sun until we found out what he was crying for. Someone would ask him a question, he would answer.

My first experience with panic was when Biggest Saditty turned 1 and still was not walking. At his first birthday party, he sat down and took everything in. I was both ashamed and hurt because he was not walking while the other one year olds were practically running around. At that time, I did not know that children develop differently and do things at different times. I took him to a pediatric neurologist who did some testing and said that he would walk when he was ready. Sure enough, I picked him up from daycare one day when he was 13 months and he walked over to me. That's right---I dropped him off and he was crawling and picked him up and he walked over to meet me.

Fast-forward to two years old. The daycare provider (who I hate to this day and hate is a STRONG word) pulled me aside and told me that at his age, he should have a really strong vocabulary. I thought about it and began to cry. As I sobbed, she pointed out that her two year old granddaughter who attended the same daycare could talk, repeat what others said, and even make wisecracks. She went on to tell me that she was an expert on children and she knew that he was not normal. I cried and cried and cried as she suggested that I call Social Security and file for disability benefits for my two year old. I was fighting mad, collected him, and left. On the way home, I cried and thought about what she said. "I am an expert when it comes to children and I can see now that he is not normal." She then pointed to a child who was visibly autistic and told me that my child had the same traits as that child. Even though there was a HUGE difference between the two, my ass stood there listening and eventually started noticing similarities that really were not there at all. I left the center crying like a fool. Glancing at him strapped in his seat in my backseat, I can still remember the look of concern on his face when he saw his Mommy sobbing and that caused me to sob even more.  I still cry when I think about her words (but more out of anger). So, I took my child back to the TRUE expert, the pediatric neurologist who did some testing and told me the same thing that he told me a year earlier when the problem was walking. "He'll talk when he is good and ready." So I then took him to the pediatrician and expressed my concern. She gave me a referral to a different pediatric neurologist and a warning that all children develop differently.

So off I was to the new doctor, paid the co-pay, and subjected my baby to the testing. "I think he may be slightly autistic but it will take another year or so to know for sure." Autistic? Surely this was the end of the world? I went to BAM and purchased every book on the subject. I cried and read, read and cried. One day a few weeks later, while I was reading and crying and feeling hopeless, Biggest Saditty walked up to me and said, "Whatchu reading Mommy?" What.chu.reading.Mommy. It took me a long time to process those words and realize that it came from him. MY BABY. Although his progress was slow, he began to talk. One of the main things I realized after a while was when I asked him a question, he repeated the same question back to me over and over again. This terrified me because it was one of the main characteristics of autism that I had read about. The same bitch I mean daycare provider (yes, I was dumb enough to leave him there after her "professional diagnosis) pointed out that he was displaying signs of autism.

If anyone reading out there has a child with ANY type of learning or developmental disability then you KNOW how hard it is to get a diagnosis. We went from Doctor to Doctor and still no clear diagnosis. It was the most frustrating experience of my life. By this time, I'd given birth to middle Saditty and gotten married and was pregnant again with Itty-Bitty Saditty (I KNOW, I was busy!) Because I now had a husband in the home to help out with the baby (Middle Saditty) I was able to concentrate on Biggest. I decided to switch his school (I could only stay dumb for so long) and placed him into a pre-k program at a private school that used the ABeka curriculum. The teacher was drawn to biggest Saditty and the teachers aid had nerve to tell me that she thought that maybe he was a genius. A GENIUS? Who was this trick??? Well while I cried and felt defeated because he was not acting "normal", the teacher and teacher's aid were noticing his abilities as opposed to his disabilities. Then, one day his teacher said that the class was being observed by someone from the state. As the teacher was reading a book my child because upset, started a tantrum and threw his shoes across the room. She told me that I needed to have him evaluated because she thought he could be ADD or ADHD. I was so confused. One minute, the teacher and the teacher's aid were showing me drawings and math problems that my son had worked out in his pre-K class and the next minute I am being told that he is ADD or ADHD? More tears, more frustration. I went to his pediatrician thinking that medication could be the answer.

I can still hear her yelling at me to this day. Yes, I still go to the same pediatrician who YELLED at me. Do you know what she said? "Iwill not be prescribing him ANY medication. All it will do is kill his creativity.There is no such thing as an ADD child but there are TONS of ADD and ADHD parents and teachers. You need to stop crying, pray, and find out what your child needs to succeed. Go to a psych doctor and get a diagnosis IF there is one. Plan out your roadmap. Dedicate extra time to him and it will pay off. Once you know, do everything you need to do to make sure he has a strong foundation. Now, I'll see you in three months for his wellness checkup and don't come back unless this child is sick." Yes, that is EXACTLY what she told me. I was livid! You have to understand Dr Syed. She is Lebanese, about 5 feet with heels on and to the point. Middle Saditty and Itty Bitty Saditty (a newborn at this time) were also her patients and as a matter of fact, she named them. I trusted her but I knew she had to be wrong. Surely the teachers were right. Before we left, she made the nurse give him a comprehensive hearing test which he passed. I was on my own. All the way home, I thought about what she said. Find out what your child needs and do everything. That became my mantra. I turned off the television and the computer, turned off my phone, and zoned in on my child. I stopped crying and did my research. I finally found a Doctor (psychologist) who would work on a diagnosis. I trusted his opinion because he handled all the diagnosis for the public school system in the area.

Biggest Saditty and I drove over to his office on the designated day. We walked into a room filled with toys. I sat there looking stupid while the Doctor watched Biggest play. He scribbled some notes and asked him a few questions. When I tried to speak on his behalf the Dr. shusshed me. He continued to ask me questions and chat with him. He ended the appointment with me still in limbo but scheduled some testing for the next week. We showed up for the next appointment and my baby was whisked away to be tested. After about an hour, the nurse brought him back into the room and set up an appointment for me to return alone the next week. The days, hours, and minutes went by so slowly and the appointment time finally arrived after what seemed like forever.

The doctor advised me that Biggest Saditty showed some slight characteristics of Aspergers Syndrome (lack of interest in his peers, occassional clumsiness, and lack of social interaction ability) which is a high functioning form of autism. He explained that although Aspergers falls underneath the Autism umbrella, he was far from disabled, in fact he was probably near genius. HUH???? He went on to explain that he suspected some famous people of being Aspies (Bill Gates for one) and stated that there was a huge success factor among those with this type of disorder. My next question was: How can he be cured? He basically told me that there is no cure, per se however children often outgrow the symptoms of the syndrome however some of the symptoms always remained. Then, he blew my mind.

He said that the major problem was a language barrier. HUH?? Yes, a language barrier. He stated that my child could not pay attention or concentrate because he often did not understand WHAT was being said and WHAT was being asked of him. He immediately suggested speech and language therapy.

Three years later, Biggest Saditty is still in speech and language therapy. He has made HUGE leaps and bounds. He talks so much that sometimes, I want to take out his batteries. He loves animals and can name animals that inhabit each and every continent. He can tell you the countries on different continents as well as the cuisine and ethnic makeup of the people inhabiting the countries. He hates spelling but loves social studies. He has started to ask for Heelys and other things that his classmates are into. He is a true 7 year old. He is in first grade, reads at a second grade level and performs math and science at a third grade level. Pretty impressive, huh? He still struggles with social interactions and prefers to play alone so we have to force him to play with others. Sometimes it works, sometimes it does not. He is at the same school and in March, will be tested for a regional gifted and talented program. Did I ever think that we would be at this point? NEVER. And the problem? A damned language barrier.

What am I trying to say? What I'm trying to say is when I was young, we had people who were "slow". There was no ADD or ADHD or any of that stuff. Today, people try to place labels on everything and every one. On the flip side, we as parents are often ashamed because our kids are "different" (especially OUR people). We sit around in denial while our children fall by the wayside. We fail to sit up and get our children the help that they need. Had I listenedd to DUMB DENISE (the daycare provider, yeah, that's her name), I would've given up and allowed my child to be thrown into special ed at some school where no one had time to be bothered. He wouldve grown up into an adult who swept floors and emptied gargage cans. His abilities would have never been recognized. Instead of concentrating on his abilities, I was concentrating on his "disabilities". All children are different. DO NOT allow your children to fall by the wayside. If you suspect that something is wrong, get a diagnosis and work on fixing the problem. Do not let something tiny (language barriers, dyslexia) turn into something huge and handicap your child's life. Not only are you your child's parent, you are your child's advocate. ALL children develop differently and act in different ways. NEVER let ANYONE compare your child to another chiold because all children are different. Recognize your child for who she/he is, thank God for being blessed with that child, and do everything short of murder to get your child what he/she needs to succeed. Nuff said. Love ya'll! Mrs. S

Thirty-Five Things That I Have Learned in 35 Years

Turning 35 right before the new year caused me to take inventory. Looking back over my life, there is so much that I have thrown back but some of the catch was really worthy of keeping in the boat with me. Here are 35 things that 35 years of living have taught me:

1. Learning how to say "No" is THE most important life lesson that a person can learn.
2. If you leave the house looking torn up (even if it is to go to the grocery store or gas station), you WILL  run into that ex-boyfriend, the girl whose boyfriend you stole in high school, Morris Chestnut, the president, or ALL of the people mentioned.
3. God does not punish but HE does one helluva job of convicting!
4. You can either eat the cookie that you are craving or deprive yourself, get angry, and eat the entire pack later while feeling disgusted.
5. NEVER (never ever ever never) apologize for who you are, how you look, what you like, or how you feel.
6. There is such thing as magic except the proper name is "answered prayers".
7. If you are crazy enough to laugh when your kids say a dirty word, you'll look even crazier when they yell that same word (and a few others out) in public.
8. Basing your joy upon someone else's misfortune is a surefire way to failure.
9. Whetever you send out into the universe, be it good or bad, will eventually come back at you ten to twenty-fold.
10. Chasing that food down with a Diet Coke will not kill all of the calories.
11. No matter how bad the timing may seem, children are always a blessing.
12. Personal attacks are just what they are--personal attacks. Steer clear of them and those who spearhead them.
13. If you call in to work and pretend to be sick, you will really be sick when it is time to return to work.
14. Your husband/boyfriend/s.o. knows all about those bags in your trunk that you plan on sneaking into the house later on. He/she just does not want to embarrass you.
15. Forgive your enemies but avoid their asses as if they have the plague. 
16. In this day of advanced modern medicine, Black folks still attach a stigma to mental illness and refused to get treated for it.
17. That little voice that you hear is not actually "the voice of reason" or your conscience. It's actually God trying to point you in the right direction.
18. Holding on to old hurt will block out new happiness.
19. You really don't need that many drinks before you get on the plane.
20. In-laws are your husband's relatives. You married him, not them. If they can't, won't, refused to accept you then fugg em!
21. Get out of denial. It will not 'stretch out'..buy the bigger size!
22. The best thing you can do for a grudge is let it go.
23. By the time you turn 30, you will be able to count your real friends on less than ten fingers.
24. Neglecting to get rid of garbage will stink up your life. Neglecting to get rid of baggage will weigh you down.
25. You can pick your friends but not your family. Sometimes it is better to love them from a distance.
26. If it is too much to give, then refuse to lend.
27. The red gas light that pops on in your truck does notmean that you have 3 more gallons, it means that "your azz is bout to have to get out and walk".
28. No matter how much you try to avoid it, you begin to sound and act more and more like your mother every day.
29. Living well really is the best revenge!
30. A cold glass of wine and a good cry can do wonders at the end of a rough day.
31. Haters are simply those who do not have the courage to say what you say, live as you live, or admit to feeling the way that you do.
32. Kindness kills quicker than any gun.
33. There is no better feeling in the world than hearing one of your kids call you "Mommy". 
34. If you loved him enough to marry him, then surely you have the guts to tell him what you need more of, what you can't stand about him, and why you would hate to live without him.
35. Thirty-five is not the new twenty-five, no matter how much I try to convince myself.

Life Lesson #1: Like vs. Respect

Would you rather be well liked or well respected? If I would've been asked this question a few years ago, I would've chosen (hands down) well liked. Today? Things are really, really different.

As most of you know, MrSaditty and I are both "union people", deeply involved in labor relations at our respective work sites. It is a high priority for both of us, right behind God, family, etc. We both work for huge entities that are unionized for a reason....large entities rarely play fair in the sand box. People do not go to jobs everyday because they are fun...people go to jobs to feed their families and keep a roof over their heads. If a person's livelihood is threatened by management egos, unfair labor practices, and a million other rabbits that corporate America likes to pull out of hats, then I step in as a job steward.

Although swamped, I love my labor relations work and decided a few months ago that in addition to being a job steward, I wanted to hold office within my local union. Elections are in September and with 900+ members (700 of which are in my work site) in my local, I knew I needed to get on the ball with campaigning. My reason for wanting to hold office? I wanted to have more of a voice when executive decisions were made within the union (my voice being the voice of the people--my members).

Here is where the story begins to turn. I have a "friend" (use this word loosely, ya'll) that shares my passion for labor relations and is also a job steward. I made the mistake of telling her that I planned on seeking an executive position. A few days later, my friend told me how much she loved the union, politics, blah blah blah and it was "nothing personal" but she was going to run against me and any other candidates. Fine. She went on to say that going to the conventions and meeting politicians would really prepare her for the career of her dreams....ummmmm, okay.

Nominations went well. She invited a few friends who are paying members but never attend meetings to the nomination meeting. One nominated her, one gave her second, and the others cheered when she accepted the nomination. I nominated myself and received a second from an older Caucasian man that I see at meetings but really do not know. She and I were the only two nominees for that particular position. Next came nominations for other positions which went pretty smoothly.

Nominations led to three months of campaigning. Several people running for other positions dropped out of the race but she and I continued to vie for the same position. I have a million things to do and a million things racing thru my mind but it was business as usual. Defending the members and walking them thru the grievance process. No glossy elections posters (let's be real, I pay tuition for 5 kids), no Jason's Deli for 400+ people on the day shift (I want the position but my family has to eat). None of that. On the other hand, she did an excellent job of campaigning. One day, while I took a break and grabbed a wrap from one of the zillion trays she ordered from Jason's. As I gnawed on the wrap, she and I engaged in some polite conversation (our friendship had come to sort of a standstill) and caught each other up on recent happenings. The conversation soon turned and she asked me if I had plans to drop out of the race and allow her to win by acclamation. I thought this to be strange so I asked her why. She explained that I really didn't have a chance of winning but still had a chance to "retain dignity" by bowing out. Ummmmm, okay. She went on to point out that I was not really well liked by the general population in the workplace and was the subject of many unsavory conversations. Wow. I mean, don't get me wrong I know people had some pretty salty things to say about me and no, I was not well liked in the workplace but hearing it from my friend felt like a blow to the midsection. I swallowed this hard (along with a big piece of the wrap) and thought about it. She is beautiful, smart, and well liked. She had the funds to court, campaign, and woo members and I did not. Sure, I could max out one of my cards on one lunch for a few hundred people but that was really too big of a sacrifice for me to make. I excused myself from our conversation to go and sit a discipline meeting. As I trudged to the meeting, her words echoed in my head.

That night, I talked it over with MrSaditty. He listened to the whole story and was silent for several minutes. In fact, he was so silent that I thought he was ignoring me and giving his full attention to the stupid ping-pong game on his IPhone. After a few minutes, he put the phone down. "E, this isn't your first time hearing that people talk bad about you on a daily basis, right?" I answered, "No." He then asked me who sat more disciplines and won more grievances. Easy answer....me. He asked me how many people said a simple "thank you" to me for saving their jobs or getting them reinstated with pay after being terminated. I could count the number on one hand. He then went on to say that when I accepted the Union Steward job, I knew that labor relations was thankless work. He seriously asked me if my heart was still in "the cause"....yep, it sure is. Then, he gave me a great piece of advice...."Do what you love and everything else will happen the way its supposed to happen." He then picked up the damned phone and went right back to his game.

Well, as campaigning wound down, there was little question as to who the winner would be. The word around the work site was that "they" had no plans of voting for me because she had done an awesome job of being a people pleaser and I had put forth no effort. I continued to do my regular work as well as labor relations. I was still a steward and prepared myself to continue with business as usual.

Well, elections came. This chick bought lunch and beverages and offered to feed every paying member in exchange for their sealed ballot in it's  envelope. Folks came and went all day, picking pepperoni and dropping off their envelopes. Although my stomach growled, I had too much pride to take her food. At 6pm, someone from the elections committee came to take the ballots from the sealed lock box and take them to the hall. Others at other work sites trickled in and out of the hall all day to return their ballots.

At the Tuesday night meeting, the results were announced. There will be a run-off in two categories but there were winners in all the others. VP? Well, no one else seemed to be surprised by the winner except for my friend and I. Your girl MrsSaditty won by 76%. It took nearly an hour for it to sink in. The elections committee went on with arranging the run off in the other categories as my friend and I sat down in awe. She joked about a recount but I doubt that she was serious. After everything settled in and the meeting adjourned, I calmly walked to my truck. After shutting the door and buckling the old seat belt, the celebration began. I screamed, danced, called my husband, my mama, my daddy...everybody. I could not believe I won. I mean I must've rejoiced for over twenty minutes...praising HIM, laughing crying...I was a big bag of emotions.

When I made it home, the voice of reason in my life (MrS) told me that he was so proud of me for winning but disappointed that I doubted myself.  We talked and got everything straight and I went to sleep a happy girl.

The life lesson learned? You can go about things in two ways: you can be a people pleaser and overextend yourself by being nice and doing favors...you can:

A. Run yourself down making sure that people think and say good things about you, include you in the "in" crowd, and are impressed by your magnetic and wonderful personality...OR,

B. You can learn to be happy with yourself and learn to say "no" when it means sacrificing the things you love and believe in. You can be the underdog and crusade for what is right, even if it means going against the grain. You can let your good but silent deeds speak for you.

With the first choice, you are guaranteed to be well liked and be the constant subject of pleasant conversation. With the second choice, you gain self-satisfaction and sleep soundly at night knowing that you've done all you could to make things right and well.

Think about the people who voted for me....yep, the same people who said really foul stuff and swore they would never check the box next to my name. But when the time came for them to choose, what do you suppose they thought about? The countless free lunches, ego stroking, martini parties, etc. or the fact that many of them had discipline removed or still had a job because of my passion? I can live with the fact that I am not well liked in my workplace(and yes, it kinda hurts man) but the fact that I am respected? Well....let's just say that respect feels better than money in the bank!!

Peace ya'll....Mrs Saditty (the veepee!!!!)