A Mile a Minute: The World of Mrs. Saditty

Tears

Family, I am so sad to report that I could not shed a tear over the death of Michael Jackson... I tried but I just couldn't. Steve McNair? Nope. I did grow misty-eyed over Farrah because she was one of my first sheroes and I had an awesome lunchbox with her pic on it. I think the last celebrities that I had hard cries over were Gerald Levert and Ed Bradley. In fact, I almost burned my house down because I was cooking while drinking and having my own personal funeral for Ed Bradley but that's another story (NEVER try pouring out a lil Cabernet for a homie near a stove). Anyway, when I heard about the death of E. Lynn Harris, I was devastated. I cried like a baby. This hit your girl hard. When I called my sister, she was driving and had to pull over. It hit her hard. My girl Felicia described it best when she said that she was "numb". Why? Not only was he a great author that was full of truth and honesty, he was a genuine person. I had the pleasure of meeting him on two Yes, he had purchased a copy of MY book and wanted an autograph...can you believe???The second time I met him, he didn't remember our first meeting but joked that I was one of his characters (Windsor) come to life...lol...and on both occassions, he was funny, warm, giving, loving, and well...he was warm. Like you had been knowing him for years. And you know what? Every person who has ever met him says the same things about him. Consistant. Real. Warm. That was the E. Lynn we all knew. We laughed and cried. We cheered his heroic characters on and wanted to murder the villians. I will never forget his laugh or the grip of his handshake. Real people are hard to come by and the world has lost one. What are we going to do without Basil, Kyle, Raymond, and that bitch Yancy B? E. Lynn, you left us way too soon....

 

Overjoyed!

What is this, you ask? Why it is the President's Award for Educational Excellence and it was presented to Biggest Saditty at his schools awards program on Friday night.  Now, those of you who know me know that bragging is not in my thing but this is an exception. Why? Remember, this is the same child that was incorrectly labled as "ADD/ADHD", "mildly autistic", "learning disabled", "slow" and a myriad of other crap . On top of this award being totally unexpected, I was also blown away by both his test scrores and his final grades for the year. It seems like this son of mine took the Iowa test and blew it completely out of the water. Speech and language therapy along with modifications, patience, and prayer have taken us to this point. I can kick myself for wanting to give up in the past! On top of his superb test scores, he finished the year with an overall 97 avereage. Yes, my baby. To ANYONE out there who is frustrated with your child and/or the school system, keep pushing on and praying--any situation can change. OK....on to more pictures...

Biggest getting his Presidential Award from the Principal.

The First Grade Teacher presenting my baby with awards for Math, Science, Social Studies, and Spelling. Gotta work on that reading....

In other school news, we also had the best kind of birthday party (the school party, with no mess at home, no passing out invitations and minimal cleanup)for Itty Bitty who turned 3.

I can't believe this girl refused to stand on the chair....making her poor, pregnant mama bend.....

The birthday girl and her brothers....wow! I finally got them to look all in the same direction at once!

Well, tommorow Middle Saditty (on the right) graduates from pre-K. He asked me if its okay for him to quit school after tommorow because he is tired...says he can just try to find a job....NO WORDS! LOL  Pray for me as these graduations are so wonderful and I am usually the parent that just sits and cries thru the whole thing!

As always, there is a message in me for someone out there...not sure who but its for someone. If you occassionally get down on yourself and think that you fail at being a parent--lighten up. Parenting (especially single parenting, remember I have been there) can be a struggle and sometimes, we cme close to throwing in the towel. We feel as though we have no help and that everything in the world is against us and although the struggle continues, joy always begins. When you look at the product of your hard work (yes, your beautiful children), you won't think about money problems, divorce, lonliness, or bad relationships, depression, or any of that stuff. You'll simply see them and how far you've come. If you've had some type of failure in the past or feel inadequate in any way, looking at your kids will make you see that you actually are a winner. Love ya'll! Mrs. S

Life Lesson #1: Like vs. Respect

Would you rather be well liked or well respected? If I would've been asked this question a few years ago, I would've chosen (hands down) well liked. Today? Things are really, really different.

As most of you know, MrSaditty and I are both "union people", deeply involved in labor relations at our respective work sites. It is a high priority for both of us, right behind God, family, etc. We both work for huge entities that are unionized for a reason....large entities rarely play fair in the sand box. People do not go to jobs everyday because they are fun...people go to jobs to feed their families and keep a roof over their heads. If a person's livelihood is threatened by management egos, unfair labor practices, and a million other rabbits that corporate America likes to pull out of hats, then I step in as a job steward.

Although swamped, I love my labor relations work and decided a few months ago that in addition to being a job steward, I wanted to hold office within my local union. Elections are in September and with 900+ members (700 of which are in my work site) in my local, I knew I needed to get on the ball with campaigning. My reason for wanting to hold office? I wanted to have more of a voice when executive decisions were made within the union (my voice being the voice of the people--my members).

Here is where the story begins to turn. I have a "friend" (use this word loosely, ya'll) that shares my passion for labor relations and is also a job steward. I made the mistake of telling her that I planned on seeking an executive position. A few days later, my friend told me how much she loved the union, politics, blah blah blah and it was "nothing personal" but she was going to run against me and any other candidates. Fine. She went on to say that going to the conventions and meeting politicians would really prepare her for the career of her dreams....ummmmm, okay.

Nominations went well. She invited a few friends who are paying members but never attend meetings to the nomination meeting. One nominated her, one gave her second, and the others cheered when she accepted the nomination. I nominated myself and received a second from an older Caucasian man that I see at meetings but really do not know. She and I were the only two nominees for that particular position. Next came nominations for other positions which went pretty smoothly.

Nominations led to three months of campaigning. Several people running for other positions dropped out of the race but she and I continued to vie for the same position. I have a million things to do and a million things racing thru my mind but it was business as usual. Defending the members and walking them thru the grievance process. No glossy elections posters (let's be real, I pay tuition for 5 kids), no Jason's Deli for 400+ people on the day shift (I want the position but my family has to eat). None of that. On the other hand, she did an excellent job of campaigning. One day, while I took a break and grabbed a wrap from one of the zillion trays she ordered from Jason's. As I gnawed on the wrap, she and I engaged in some polite conversation (our friendship had come to sort of a standstill) and caught each other up on recent happenings. The conversation soon turned and she asked me if I had plans to drop out of the race and allow her to win by acclamation. I thought this to be strange so I asked her why. She explained that I really didn't have a chance of winning but still had a chance to "retain dignity" by bowing out. Ummmmm, okay. She went on to point out that I was not really well liked by the general population in the workplace and was the subject of many unsavory conversations. Wow. I mean, don't get me wrong I know people had some pretty salty things to say about me and no, I was not well liked in the workplace but hearing it from my friend felt like a blow to the midsection. I swallowed this hard (along with a big piece of the wrap) and thought about it. She is beautiful, smart, and well liked. She had the funds to court, campaign, and woo members and I did not. Sure, I could max out one of my cards on one lunch for a few hundred people but that was really too big of a sacrifice for me to make. I excused myself from our conversation to go and sit a discipline meeting. As I trudged to the meeting, her words echoed in my head.

That night, I talked it over with MrSaditty. He listened to the whole story and was silent for several minutes. In fact, he was so silent that I thought he was ignoring me and giving his full attention to the stupid ping-pong game on his IPhone. After a few minutes, he put the phone down. "E, this isn't your first time hearing that people talk bad about you on a daily basis, right?" I answered, "No." He then asked me who sat more disciplines and won more grievances. Easy answer....me. He asked me how many people said a simple "thank you" to me for saving their jobs or getting them reinstated with pay after being terminated. I could count the number on one hand. He then went on to say that when I accepted the Union Steward job, I knew that labor relations was thankless work. He seriously asked me if my heart was still in "the cause"....yep, it sure is. Then, he gave me a great piece of advice...."Do what you love and everything else will happen the way its supposed to happen." He then picked up the damned phone and went right back to his game.

Well, as campaigning wound down, there was little question as to who the winner would be. The word around the work site was that "they" had no plans of voting for me because she had done an awesome job of being a people pleaser and I had put forth no effort. I continued to do my regular work as well as labor relations. I was still a steward and prepared myself to continue with business as usual.

Well, elections came. This chick bought lunch and beverages and offered to feed every paying member in exchange for their sealed ballot in it's  envelope. Folks came and went all day, picking pepperoni and dropping off their envelopes. Although my stomach growled, I had too much pride to take her food. At 6pm, someone from the elections committee came to take the ballots from the sealed lock box and take them to the hall. Others at other work sites trickled in and out of the hall all day to return their ballots.

At the Tuesday night meeting, the results were announced. There will be a run-off in two categories but there were winners in all the others. VP? Well, no one else seemed to be surprised by the winner except for my friend and I. Your girl MrsSaditty won by 76%. It took nearly an hour for it to sink in. The elections committee went on with arranging the run off in the other categories as my friend and I sat down in awe. She joked about a recount but I doubt that she was serious. After everything settled in and the meeting adjourned, I calmly walked to my truck. After shutting the door and buckling the old seat belt, the celebration began. I screamed, danced, called my husband, my mama, my daddy...everybody. I could not believe I won. I mean I must've rejoiced for over twenty minutes...praising HIM, laughing crying...I was a big bag of emotions.

When I made it home, the voice of reason in my life (MrS) told me that he was so proud of me for winning but disappointed that I doubted myself.  We talked and got everything straight and I went to sleep a happy girl.

The life lesson learned? You can go about things in two ways: you can be a people pleaser and overextend yourself by being nice and doing favors...you can:

A. Run yourself down making sure that people think and say good things about you, include you in the "in" crowd, and are impressed by your magnetic and wonderful personality...OR,

B. You can learn to be happy with yourself and learn to say "no" when it means sacrificing the things you love and believe in. You can be the underdog and crusade for what is right, even if it means going against the grain. You can let your good but silent deeds speak for you.

With the first choice, you are guaranteed to be well liked and be the constant subject of pleasant conversation. With the second choice, you gain self-satisfaction and sleep soundly at night knowing that you've done all you could to make things right and well.

Think about the people who voted for me....yep, the same people who said really foul stuff and swore they would never check the box next to my name. But when the time came for them to choose, what do you suppose they thought about? The countless free lunches, ego stroking, martini parties, etc. or the fact that many of them had discipline removed or still had a job because of my passion? I can live with the fact that I am not well liked in my workplace(and yes, it kinda hurts man) but the fact that I am respected? Well....let's just say that respect feels better than money in the bank!!

Peace ya'll....Mrs Saditty (the veepee!!!!)   

Life, Love, and Gustav

Well Gustave is gone and blue skies are back! Gustave had the nerve to take a tiny piece of 2146's roof with him. MrS and I had already planned a total remodel (including a new roof and some Pella windows--which I LOVE) for late October/Early November. The bad news? We will have to embark on this sooner so that means roofing nails in my tires and a mess everywhere but the great news is that instead of all of it being out of pocket, insurance will assist!

There is so much that I want to update on...let's see:

• I have so many readers and lurkers that I was unaware of. I did not learn this until the power came on and my Blackberry charged up fully. My voice mailbox was jammed with messages from friends and :::gasp::: readers! Then, once the EDGE network came back up (at about the same time as the electricity), my mailbox started being pinged with emails from regular readers/posters AND lurkers offering all kinds of help but most important, kind words! You guys are great...I mean the bestest of the best! I didn't know many of you prior to receiving an "Are You Okay" email but when a few of you asked me to kiss the babies, etc., I could tell that some of you have been here awhile. I love you guys!
• I am back in school! A Master's Degree should be mine in less than two years. The beginning has been kind of rough but my frayed nerves were soothed when I learned that some credits from an abandoned attempt at a second degree were applied towards my Masters. It'll be interesting juggling life, work, labor relations activism, family, AND school but Mrs. Saditty has got this!
• Speaking of work, I now have yet another part-time job/side hustle. Now, Mr. Saditty wasn't too happy about this (he dreams of a stay at home Mom/Wife who wears aprons and pulls fresh bread out of the oven every afternoon) however this side hustle is ridiculously easy, can be done from home, is LEGAL, and pays nearly 1/4 of my full time job's salary. MrS made me promise that I would let it go if and when it becomes a distraction to the family or my labor relations work.
• The babies LOVE school...with the exception of the Littlest Saditty. She is NOT feeling the uniforms, her new teacher and teacher's aide, and going to chapel twice a week.
• The big boys are enjoying their reign as seventh graders but the cell phones HAD to be repossessed. Text messaging during class time? I guess they forget that I review both the bill as well as the unbilled activities? Progress reports could have been better but they were pretty okay but I don't like nor do I accept mediocrity. I am sure with the repossession of the phones and their only means of communications being a string and two tin cans, those grades for the first Nine week period will be up there.
• A friend gifted me with a complete sushi guide, a sushi mat, and starter supplies! My kitchen skills are about to get a little creative. Once I can get the rolling as neat as I desire, I will post pics. (Ash, you MUST try this).
• I am a new godmother and her mother and I were cheeky enough to swipe one of my reader's names for her middle name! I mentioned the name "Shanga" and the new Mom was hooked! Little Leigh Shangah was born on September 2 and weighed in at 7 lbs and 9 ounces and was a whopping 19.5 inches long.

Well that is it for now. IKE needs to burn himself out in the Atlantic because he is not needed here or anywhere else!I look forward to things being back to normal. Peace and Blessings, Mrs.Saditty

The Invisible Pimp

For those of you who do not have kids yet, sit back and take notes so you won't get played like we did. For Single people, you may have met one of these Pimps. For those of you with kids, you probably already know the Invisible Pimp. In fact, some of you may BE an Invisible Pimp....hmmmm...eitherway, I am about to call this person out so that you too will be able to recognize the Invisible Pimps.

Who are said pimps, you ask? Let us discuss.

Pimp #1: Throws a large birthday party in the backyard every year for ALL of her kids. This party has a DJ, a fun jump, a clown, and more adults than kids. At each party, she invites your whole family and tells you that she will be serving kid food and "real food". So you and your whole family go (hey, she insisted). You feel guilty about bringing your whole crew (husband, bad azz kids) so you overspend on the gift (as the pimp Mom) knew you would. The birthday kids opens up a mountain of expensive gifts while you munch on a chili dog and your husband slurps the beer that the pimp and her husband keep pushing on him. After about an hour and a case of beer, you notice the birthday kid strutting around with $5, $10, and $20 bills pinned to his/her shirt just as you notice your happily tipsy husband putting his wallet back in his pocket. Sound familiar? Yep, you been pimped!

Pimp #2: Throws kid(s) a party at a food place. Not a food place like McDonald's or Chuck E. Cheese where SHE pays and you buy a gift. A food place like Bennigans where you have to buy your and your kid's food (about $20-$30 if you order a decent drink to entertain yourself with while the kids party). Then, add in the gift that she actually made up a registry for. Yes, registry. Or, the ridiculously priced PSP game she hinted that her kid would love. Or the Brats Corvette that she wasn't too shame to ask you to buy. Your food+your kids food+gift= AT LEAST $60. Mom then tells you some excuse about the bakery messing up the cake order. When the restaraunt crew brings out the fuzzy chocolate whipped cream surprise and sings Happy Happy Birthday, your kid will or course scream for one too. Birthday kids cost? Free. Your kids cost? $5.95. Sound familiar? Yep, ya been pimped.

Pimp #3: The artsy crafty Mom who throws the party at the Ceramics Workshop or better yet Build-a-Bear! You send your kid with $20-$30 each(remember, I have 3 small ones and pimp Mom insists that they ALL to attend) PLUS a gift for the birthday kid. With me so far? Now add up the costs of you wandering around the mall and buying a bunch of shyt you do not need because you do not want to be in the Build-A-Bear Workshop around 30 screaming kids. You walk back to pick your kids up and one of them is screaming because they cannot afford to buy the bear a leather motorcyle jacket like Daddy has. You cave in from the screaming (and embarrassment) and pay the extra $12 for the jacket. As you leave, you hear the Invisible Pimp bragging that her child got a free Bear (on top of all the gifts that the guests bought) because they brought in so much revenue to the store. Sound familiar? Yep, you have been pimped.

**Footnote: you will catch the above pimps bragging that they never have to buy their kids gifts because the guests at the party go all out. WTF?

Pimp #4: I only met this Pimp when my step-kids came to live with us and started school in the Twisted Mayberry where we moved. This pimp gives her 12 year old a birthday party at a "hall" and on the invitation, puts $3 admission in lieu of gifts. Fine. When you go to drop the kids off, you notice that "the hall" is a club with a live DJ. The looks strangely like a club you used to visit but you don't remember it being open during daylight hours. The Mom is sitting on a barstool, collecting money at the door. She assures you that the club is simply the family business and no liquor will be sold or served to the kids.Oh, besides admission, you also did not have to bring a gift because refreshments are being SOLD. Yes, your kids can buy hot dogs, nachos, and sodas for $1 each. Yeah, you heard me. I have been pimped!

Pimp #5: I cut this pimp's game short. WHO...no...WHAT kind of mom holds a co-ed babyshower for the people in her 13 year old daughter's class??? I wouldn't know because I tore the invitation to shreds.

Pimp #6: Has had 4 babies and has had a babyshower for each one. Invites people (like you) that she never speaks to as well as people that she has been friends with for years. Now one would think that after the fourth baby, she would have everything, even a damned birthing table and PICU incubator. But no. For baby # 5, she has a registry and artsy boutique like places and has scanned things like a changing table and dresser. Is this chick for real? Oh, did I forgot to say that her husband/babydaddy/significant other is holding a "Diaper Shower" and inviting your husband?? She got you with the first and second but hopefully, you declined the invitation to the third, fourth, and fifth. What? You didn't? You, my friend, have been pimped.

Pimp #7: Has a baby but is too humble to have a baby shower. Instead, she and her husband (or babydaddy) select five to nine sets of god-parents. You and your husband or s/o feel honored but are confused because you don't know these folks all like that. Things go okay and you give gifts on birthdays, Easter, Christmas, etc. but don't hear from these folks otherwise. One day, you have friends over and after the second bottle of wine, your friend's husband tells you that they are little Bobby's godparents too. Then another friend says so is her sister. Then, you realize that the humble parents have not bought a THING since lil Bobby was born because all the sponsers godparents have been PIMPED!

Pimp #8: Invites you over to her place for "Girl's Night Out" or "Pampering Spa Party". She greets you at the door with a very potent Margarita or dry Martini. You have a seat on the couch with a few of your other girls who arrived before you but look very pissed off for some reason. You look up from the couch and see a homely azz looking Mary Kay lady with craters on her face telling you (who is wearing the finest MAC that your budget can bear) that you need a facial and a make-over and she will be the one to make up look beautiful. The hostess attempts to shut her up but not before Miss Mary Kay tells you that if you purchase over $100 worth of crap, all the hostesses products will be free. If you don't get up and away from this ugly azzed woman and your scheeming azzed friend, you WILL be pimped!

The Final and 8th Type of Pimp: This pimp and his hizzoe have been shacking for nine years. They decide to buy a home. In your mailbox, there is an invitation for a "Housewarming Party". Now, you bought them a really nice gift for their engagement party and planned on getting them a really nice wedding gift (but nine years after being engaged, they still are not married but purchasing a house together). Like several of the aforementioned Pimps, this Pimp and his Hizzoe are registered at places like Pier One and the Bombay Company. They want you to buy shyt for their new home that they couldn't or wouldn't buy in NINE years of shacking up. If you even go to a housewarming for this kind of pimp, you have DEFINITELY BEEN PIMPED.

Ya'll know we got some kids over here. Out of love for our kids and respect for the budgets of our friends and family, we seldom throw parties. For the babies, I bring cake, treats, and party favors to school (all 3 of the little ones have parties during school/daycare months) and we call it a party. The older kids? We take them to the restaurant of their choice and let them order off the grown folks side of the menu. Oh yeah, we get them a pretty ok gift also. In the past, I have spent so much on other people's parties that I feel like a sucker. I don't mind going to the occassional one but please, let us stop pimping those that we consider friends!

Attention Mister Saditty

Dear Mister Saditty, NO MATTER HOW MUCH you drool, Jennifer Hudson is not and will never be in love with you. She does not even know that you are alive! That's all! (and yes, I AM a hater!)

Why?

Why do I have a huge crush on both Dr. Cornell West AND Michael Eric Dyson? Brains surpass looks ANYDAY!

STAY IN SCHOOL!

MrSaditty hardly ever cooks but one of his friends bragged to him about how he makes red beans and rice for his wife and kids on his day off. Of course, he decided to copy. Now when I make red beans and rice, in addition to all the meat inside (sausage, tasso, smoked turkey,etc), I usually make baked or grilled chicken on the side. Most Louisianians serve it with fried chicken or fried porkchops (I HATE FRIED FOOD!!!)
So, when the red beans were almost done, MrSaditty asked me to run over to Popeye's to pick up chicken (I HATE POPEYE'S). So, I drive up to the window and place an order for a 12 piece mixed and an unsweetened tea. I asked for the total. The voice at the order screen says, "do you need to know how many pieces comes in a 12 piece mixed?"
:::::crickets chirping::::::
Before you even ask, when I drove up to the window, she looked even sillier than she sounded.
Boys and girls, PLEASE stay in school.

My *&#^@% Plants

To the person who told my husband that pouring WARM WATER AND EPSOM SALT in my house plants to make them grow AND to my husband, who was silly enough to believe that person, YOU BOTH SUCK!!!!

Exhibit A

Exhibit B