A Mile a Minute: The World of Mrs. Saditty

Day 5- Adult ADD

Okay, it is Day 5 of maternity leave and I am already bored stiff. Well, not bored per se. I always joke about having Adult ADD and I think that the joking has come true. I cannot concentrate on ANYTHING. Since I've been off, I've played classroom Mom, did a little cleaning, and attempted a few other things. The only things I can concentrate on are texting, talking on the phone, and Twitter...ain't that sad?

My husband said, "All you need is a hobby." Is he kidding?

I've been trying to get thru this book so that I can get started on a new hobby for nearly a year! I don't know guys, maybe I should've worked until I went into labor at my desk (like I did last time). But, if any of you out there care to entertain a lonely, bored, pregnany lady---holla! Until then? Back to my main form of entertainment:

Overjoyed!

What is this, you ask? Why it is the President's Award for Educational Excellence and it was presented to Biggest Saditty at his schools awards program on Friday night.  Now, those of you who know me know that bragging is not in my thing but this is an exception. Why? Remember, this is the same child that was incorrectly labled as "ADD/ADHD", "mildly autistic", "learning disabled", "slow" and a myriad of other crap . On top of this award being totally unexpected, I was also blown away by both his test scrores and his final grades for the year. It seems like this son of mine took the Iowa test and blew it completely out of the water. Speech and language therapy along with modifications, patience, and prayer have taken us to this point. I can kick myself for wanting to give up in the past! On top of his superb test scores, he finished the year with an overall 97 avereage. Yes, my baby. To ANYONE out there who is frustrated with your child and/or the school system, keep pushing on and praying--any situation can change. OK....on to more pictures...

Biggest getting his Presidential Award from the Principal.

The First Grade Teacher presenting my baby with awards for Math, Science, Social Studies, and Spelling. Gotta work on that reading....

In other school news, we also had the best kind of birthday party (the school party, with no mess at home, no passing out invitations and minimal cleanup)for Itty Bitty who turned 3.

I can't believe this girl refused to stand on the chair....making her poor, pregnant mama bend.....

The birthday girl and her brothers....wow! I finally got them to look all in the same direction at once!

Well, tommorow Middle Saditty (on the right) graduates from pre-K. He asked me if its okay for him to quit school after tommorow because he is tired...says he can just try to find a job....NO WORDS! LOL  Pray for me as these graduations are so wonderful and I am usually the parent that just sits and cries thru the whole thing!

As always, there is a message in me for someone out there...not sure who but its for someone. If you occassionally get down on yourself and think that you fail at being a parent--lighten up. Parenting (especially single parenting, remember I have been there) can be a struggle and sometimes, we cme close to throwing in the towel. We feel as though we have no help and that everything in the world is against us and although the struggle continues, joy always begins. When you look at the product of your hard work (yes, your beautiful children), you won't think about money problems, divorce, lonliness, or bad relationships, depression, or any of that stuff. You'll simply see them and how far you've come. If you've had some type of failure in the past or feel inadequate in any way, looking at your kids will make you see that you actually are a winner. Love ya'll! Mrs. S

Click! (subtitled another aha! moment)

So because of a teacher's inservice today, Biggest Saditty had no school. I considered leaving him at the daycare portion of the school where Middle and Itty Bitty spend their days but decided to take a vacation day and spend some time with him. For nearly two years, it was just he and I against the world and I felt kind of nostalgic when I thought about those days. So anyway, we dropped the two babies off and headed to our first destination--Cracker Barrel. We were seated and our drinks soon arrived. As I dunked my tea bag into the hot water, I watched as Biggest peered at the peg game, trying to figure out the dynamics before he invited me to play. My phone began to ring. I looked at the caller ID and sent the caller to voicemail. She called right back. Again, I sent her to voicemail. As he and I began to play the peg game, a text message pinged from my phone. "Hey, call me back. It's urgent." I excused myself from the game and opened the small box of crayons and suggested that he color the picture as I returned the phone call. After he embarked on coloring, I dialed my friend back.

Me: Hey. I got your text message. What's up?

Her: Oh, are you at work?

Me: No, I am off today. Biggest and I are in Cracker Barrel on a date. Our food should be here soon.

Her: Forreal? That's nice. But lemme tell you about....................................

So, after a few minutes of her ranting on about her latest personal emergency, I started to wonder what part of the 'emergency' was so urgent. Now, keep in mind that she knows that I rarely ever get one on one time with any of my kids and if I am not mistaken, I had JUST told her that I was doing just that. She went on and on about one of her issues that we are constantly discussing. It goes like this---she presents me with a problem. I give her a solution. She sits on the phone and gives me rebuttals and tells me why my solutions are wrong. You guessed it---it's a waste of time to give this person any type of advice. But anyway...

I grab a crayon and start coloring with Biggest and she is still going on and on but stops occassionally to say, "Are you still there? Are you listening?" I grunted an affirmative response and she kept on. So our food came and I loudly asked the waitress for Tabasco and another tea bag. She kept talking. I asked Biggest if he needed help cutting his bacon, she kept talking. I started chewing and smacking loudly into the phone----and this heffa STILL kept talking.  I started a few times to tell her I'd call her back but she ignored my attempts to interrupt. I zoned back in and realized that she was still talking about her one of her "issues". The same issue that I have been giving her the same advice on for about four months. Then, something snapped in my head and I gently laid the phone down. I have nothing but rollover minutes PLUS, she is a mobile to mobile call. I was curious as to see how long she would talk before she noticed that I was not listening. I enjoyed a large portion of my country breakfast and held polite conversation wtih Biggest for several minutes before my phone lit up with my Icons screen, indicating that the call had disconnected. Cool. Maybe she got the picture. Hell no!!! No sooner had the screen died down, it lit up---this heffa was calling right back! Then, a logic thought came to me. Don't friggin answer! Duuuuuuuuh! So we finished up breakfast (I would love to know WHEN this child's appetite got so big!), talked about the weather, Thomas, Sir Toppemhat, and the new friends on his baseball team. We talked about his red bat and how he was going to hit the balls to Jupiter and knock a ring off Saturn. Needless to say, we enjoyed the tail end of our date. By the time I paid the check and bought a bunch of the irresistable junk that surrounds the checkout, old girl had called me four more times.

When we made it to my truck, I called her back.

Her: Oh girrrrrl. You are so rude.

Me: Rude? Child didn't I tell you that Biggest and I were in the middle of breakfast?

Her: Yeah but you should've told me to call you back.

Me: How could I do that when you never let me get a word in? You can't hear what I am saying if you are too busy listening to yourself talk.

Her:  ::::::::::::::::::click::::::::::::::::::::

I guess she waited for me to call her back? Holding your breath will make you turn blue. Anyway, the lesson here?

Anyone who knows me knows that I am long-winded and a talker by nature. I gab on the phone on my way to work, on my way from work, on the way to pick up the kids, after I pick up the kids (they ignore Mommy and talk only to eachother while we are driving), while I cook dinner, while my husband watches the Sci-fi channel...you get the picture. I always have time for others and am a great listener---but some people really abuse that. Take my 'friend' for instance. The only time she can talk is during the day...if her boyfriend is around, she is NOT answering the phone. You could be stuck on the side of the road---good luck to you because she will not divert her attention from him. But when he is not around, she will bombard you with talk. But I digress...that is not really the isse.

Real Talk....since finding out that I am going to be a Mommy once again, I've been thinking a lot about TIME. Yes, time. How fast it flies, how I never held my other babies enough while they were small, how even though we took hundreds of pictures of them as babies, we still didn't take enough. How they grow up in no time and become little Nazis who try to tell you off in an instant. Time. Family time, time for myself. Just time in general. Then I start to think about some people who have no regards for other people's time. I am sure you know one or two. They can only think of themselves. You know that friend/cousin/inlaw/insertthepersonsnamehere who calls you anytime they have something going on. You can tell them that you are in the middle of a lobotomy, being pulled over by the police, or that Jesus Christ is walking the Earth and he just stopped by your house to have a Coke and discuss your eternal fate and what will that person do? They will say, "Forreal? But anyway, lemme tell you about......"  Oh, you know that person too? When you do open your mouth to say in plain English, "I'm busy, let me call you back." They ususall reply with, "I'll let you go but first let me tell you about..........." which normally turns into a whole nother rant.

Now that we have established that these people do exist, I blame myself for allowing them to ignore my silent pleas to talk to them another time. For example, my friend Felicia and I talk over my kids screaming in the background and her son doing his thang in her background and we've learned to zone them out. Thats just how we are. But in other instances, I have enough respect to recognize when I've called a friend at an inopportune time and say, "Girl, just call me back when you get a chance." But I guess I am not like some people? Some people will take your kindness as a good listener and friend for granted. Their personal issues will take a frontseat to everything in your life. They don't care what you have going on, as long as they get a chance to talk about their favorite subjects: Self, self, and self. Which brings me to my aha! moment. Just.hang.up. Sound rude? As a person who keeps her phone glued to her, if I don't answer, I am really and truly busy. Send me the "Urgent" text message for something that can truly wait? Click! Now, I know its really rude to intentionaly disconnect a call but how rude is it to blatantly disregard someone's time? I thought you would agree. So, that was my aha! moment of the day. I'll leave you guys with a picture of Biggest (I swear I need to start calling these kids by their names!)on our date. Love ya'll, thanks for listening and don't be afraid to call me! LOL!! MrsS

 

On top of the world!

Don't adjust your computer's settings because you are seeing correctly! And I am sitting on top of the world. Sure, its time to look for a bigger house, a bigger Mommie Mobile, buy baby things all over again but those things are simply taking a back seat to my bliss! My whole world is about to change again and although it is unexpected, I am ready for the challenge!!

My Funny (and belated) Valentine

I know that I am nearly a week late but here we go! Valentines is my favorite holiday so of course me and the kiddies go all out. This year, Mr. S FINALLY decided to join in the fun...this is pic heavy and may take a bit to load but enjoy!

 They looooved the idea of ditching uniforms for the day. Because V-tines fell on a Saturday, the school celebrated on Friday.

 Middle Saditty's class did a presentation that was priceless! (PEEP that "come hug me" look in his eyes)

 Mr S brought home two new additions to the family. This is Itty Bitty's baby Saudia Saditty. Now keep in mind that is what we were going to name our next (and final) child so I guess this is his way of telling me that we are done????

 Okay. I am sooo addicted to watching A&E's "The First 48" that Mr. S named my baby bear Caroline Mason Saditty...lol

 This year, he remembered to peel off the Albertson's sticker! LOL

We ate here. If you have not been and have one within a seventy-five mile radius, make a bee-line! Here is a shot of us after a few pineapple mojitos.

   

Well I hope that your Valentines was as happy as ours. Much love! Mrs S

Your Most Important Job as a Parent

As a parent, I wear so many hats however I have learned that my most important job has been as my child's advocate. What do I mean, you say? Here goes:

I became a parent relatively late by today's standards (28) and had little to no hands on experience with younger children. My parents helped me out a whole bunch with my first child but it was still difficult. I didn't know what to look for, what to expect, how to act. During the first year and a half, we did everything for him. He would point to a cup, we would fill it. He would cry, we would do everything under the sun until we found out what he was crying for. Someone would ask him a question, he would answer.

My first experience with panic was when Biggest Saditty turned 1 and still was not walking. At his first birthday party, he sat down and took everything in. I was both ashamed and hurt because he was not walking while the other one year olds were practically running around. At that time, I did not know that children develop differently and do things at different times. I took him to a pediatric neurologist who did some testing and said that he would walk when he was ready. Sure enough, I picked him up from daycare one day when he was 13 months and he walked over to me. That's right---I dropped him off and he was crawling and picked him up and he walked over to meet me.

Fast-forward to two years old. The daycare provider (who I hate to this day and hate is a STRONG word) pulled me aside and told me that at his age, he should have a really strong vocabulary. I thought about it and began to cry. As I sobbed, she pointed out that her two year old granddaughter who attended the same daycare could talk, repeat what others said, and even make wisecracks. She went on to tell me that she was an expert on children and she knew that he was not normal. I cried and cried and cried as she suggested that I call Social Security and file for disability benefits for my two year old. I was fighting mad, collected him, and left. On the way home, I cried and thought about what she said. "I am an expert when it comes to children and I can see now that he is not normal." She then pointed to a child who was visibly autistic and told me that my child had the same traits as that child. Even though there was a HUGE difference between the two, my ass stood there listening and eventually started noticing similarities that really were not there at all. I left the center crying like a fool. Glancing at him strapped in his seat in my backseat, I can still remember the look of concern on his face when he saw his Mommy sobbing and that caused me to sob even more.  I still cry when I think about her words (but more out of anger). So, I took my child back to the TRUE expert, the pediatric neurologist who did some testing and told me the same thing that he told me a year earlier when the problem was walking. "He'll talk when he is good and ready." So I then took him to the pediatrician and expressed my concern. She gave me a referral to a different pediatric neurologist and a warning that all children develop differently.

So off I was to the new doctor, paid the co-pay, and subjected my baby to the testing. "I think he may be slightly autistic but it will take another year or so to know for sure." Autistic? Surely this was the end of the world? I went to BAM and purchased every book on the subject. I cried and read, read and cried. One day a few weeks later, while I was reading and crying and feeling hopeless, Biggest Saditty walked up to me and said, "Whatchu reading Mommy?" What.chu.reading.Mommy. It took me a long time to process those words and realize that it came from him. MY BABY. Although his progress was slow, he began to talk. One of the main things I realized after a while was when I asked him a question, he repeated the same question back to me over and over again. This terrified me because it was one of the main characteristics of autism that I had read about. The same bitch I mean daycare provider (yes, I was dumb enough to leave him there after her "professional diagnosis) pointed out that he was displaying signs of autism.

If anyone reading out there has a child with ANY type of learning or developmental disability then you KNOW how hard it is to get a diagnosis. We went from Doctor to Doctor and still no clear diagnosis. It was the most frustrating experience of my life. By this time, I'd given birth to middle Saditty and gotten married and was pregnant again with Itty-Bitty Saditty (I KNOW, I was busy!) Because I now had a husband in the home to help out with the baby (Middle Saditty) I was able to concentrate on Biggest. I decided to switch his school (I could only stay dumb for so long) and placed him into a pre-k program at a private school that used the ABeka curriculum. The teacher was drawn to biggest Saditty and the teachers aid had nerve to tell me that she thought that maybe he was a genius. A GENIUS? Who was this trick??? Well while I cried and felt defeated because he was not acting "normal", the teacher and teacher's aid were noticing his abilities as opposed to his disabilities. Then, one day his teacher said that the class was being observed by someone from the state. As the teacher was reading a book my child because upset, started a tantrum and threw his shoes across the room. She told me that I needed to have him evaluated because she thought he could be ADD or ADHD. I was so confused. One minute, the teacher and the teacher's aid were showing me drawings and math problems that my son had worked out in his pre-K class and the next minute I am being told that he is ADD or ADHD? More tears, more frustration. I went to his pediatrician thinking that medication could be the answer.

I can still hear her yelling at me to this day. Yes, I still go to the same pediatrician who YELLED at me. Do you know what she said? "Iwill not be prescribing him ANY medication. All it will do is kill his creativity.There is no such thing as an ADD child but there are TONS of ADD and ADHD parents and teachers. You need to stop crying, pray, and find out what your child needs to succeed. Go to a psych doctor and get a diagnosis IF there is one. Plan out your roadmap. Dedicate extra time to him and it will pay off. Once you know, do everything you need to do to make sure he has a strong foundation. Now, I'll see you in three months for his wellness checkup and don't come back unless this child is sick." Yes, that is EXACTLY what she told me. I was livid! You have to understand Dr Syed. She is Lebanese, about 5 feet with heels on and to the point. Middle Saditty and Itty Bitty Saditty (a newborn at this time) were also her patients and as a matter of fact, she named them. I trusted her but I knew she had to be wrong. Surely the teachers were right. Before we left, she made the nurse give him a comprehensive hearing test which he passed. I was on my own. All the way home, I thought about what she said. Find out what your child needs and do everything. That became my mantra. I turned off the television and the computer, turned off my phone, and zoned in on my child. I stopped crying and did my research. I finally found a Doctor (psychologist) who would work on a diagnosis. I trusted his opinion because he handled all the diagnosis for the public school system in the area.

Biggest Saditty and I drove over to his office on the designated day. We walked into a room filled with toys. I sat there looking stupid while the Doctor watched Biggest play. He scribbled some notes and asked him a few questions. When I tried to speak on his behalf the Dr. shusshed me. He continued to ask me questions and chat with him. He ended the appointment with me still in limbo but scheduled some testing for the next week. We showed up for the next appointment and my baby was whisked away to be tested. After about an hour, the nurse brought him back into the room and set up an appointment for me to return alone the next week. The days, hours, and minutes went by so slowly and the appointment time finally arrived after what seemed like forever.

The doctor advised me that Biggest Saditty showed some slight characteristics of Aspergers Syndrome (lack of interest in his peers, occassional clumsiness, and lack of social interaction ability) which is a high functioning form of autism. He explained that although Aspergers falls underneath the Autism umbrella, he was far from disabled, in fact he was probably near genius. HUH???? He went on to explain that he suspected some famous people of being Aspies (Bill Gates for one) and stated that there was a huge success factor among those with this type of disorder. My next question was: How can he be cured? He basically told me that there is no cure, per se however children often outgrow the symptoms of the syndrome however some of the symptoms always remained. Then, he blew my mind.

He said that the major problem was a language barrier. HUH?? Yes, a language barrier. He stated that my child could not pay attention or concentrate because he often did not understand WHAT was being said and WHAT was being asked of him. He immediately suggested speech and language therapy.

Three years later, Biggest Saditty is still in speech and language therapy. He has made HUGE leaps and bounds. He talks so much that sometimes, I want to take out his batteries. He loves animals and can name animals that inhabit each and every continent. He can tell you the countries on different continents as well as the cuisine and ethnic makeup of the people inhabiting the countries. He hates spelling but loves social studies. He has started to ask for Heelys and other things that his classmates are into. He is a true 7 year old. He is in first grade, reads at a second grade level and performs math and science at a third grade level. Pretty impressive, huh? He still struggles with social interactions and prefers to play alone so we have to force him to play with others. Sometimes it works, sometimes it does not. He is at the same school and in March, will be tested for a regional gifted and talented program. Did I ever think that we would be at this point? NEVER. And the problem? A damned language barrier.

What am I trying to say? What I'm trying to say is when I was young, we had people who were "slow". There was no ADD or ADHD or any of that stuff. Today, people try to place labels on everything and every one. On the flip side, we as parents are often ashamed because our kids are "different" (especially OUR people). We sit around in denial while our children fall by the wayside. We fail to sit up and get our children the help that they need. Had I listenedd to DUMB DENISE (the daycare provider, yeah, that's her name), I would've given up and allowed my child to be thrown into special ed at some school where no one had time to be bothered. He wouldve grown up into an adult who swept floors and emptied gargage cans. His abilities would have never been recognized. Instead of concentrating on his abilities, I was concentrating on his "disabilities". All children are different. DO NOT allow your children to fall by the wayside. If you suspect that something is wrong, get a diagnosis and work on fixing the problem. Do not let something tiny (language barriers, dyslexia) turn into something huge and handicap your child's life. Not only are you your child's parent, you are your child's advocate. ALL children develop differently and act in different ways. NEVER let ANYONE compare your child to another chiold because all children are different. Recognize your child for who she/he is, thank God for being blessed with that child, and do everything short of murder to get your child what he/she needs to succeed. Nuff said. Love ya'll! Mrs. S